my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
