I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
