it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
