the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
