If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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