ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Be still, my beating vagina.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
