Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
