i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
