Nicole vs. Life
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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