So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
