Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
