belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
