I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
