Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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