I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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