remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
