It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
