I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
