Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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