Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
