After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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