He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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