the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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