That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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