Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
