Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
