I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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