if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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