This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
