just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
