shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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