everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize