Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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