I wish I could punch you in the face.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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