I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
