I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
