the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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