maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
