Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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