I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
