look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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