dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
