It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
