she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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