You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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