it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize