ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
