You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
