He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
