And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
did i just pee glitter
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
