You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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