So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Mom said you looked used
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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