i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
