how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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