i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
