I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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