just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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