i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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