Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
