dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
