I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
