Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
