Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
