just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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