youre lurking in front of me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
